Color of Love

Photographer: Michael Leonard

in a red light room
i imagine myself
in my mother’s womb

trying to return
or begin again
inside the walls
of my own imagination

i am dragon-shadow
cast against the inside
of nowhere
burning her down
for freedom
when the door will do

because i cannot find
the light

i cling to a chord
anchored by memories
of her drowned dreams

in  red light room
i have been inside a man
en route to origins
and ending

i have wrapped myself
around him
and made of us
an inescapable maze
of maternal abandon

i am birthed
in a sac
made of man
and mama
where air
is recycled
lung to lung
life is repetitious
and every time
i meet him
i attach myself
to his breast
to allow him
to breathe for me
in the absence
of my own
vital organs

i am half formed fetus
and incomplete shadow
infant in need
marvelling
at the proximity
of organ
and origin
the similarities
of floating fish
and unborn babies
swimming
in dirty water

i am dying to breathe

for myself