
Saw you in the supermarket
and wondered what your kiss tastes like
in the mouth of my mind
subtle hints of nicotine, stale
traces of fresh dishonesty
you always lie to me, nigga
that christmas you gifted me
gonorrhea of the throat
i choked on a million regrets
stuck in the toilet of my neck
and gagged on the burn of my own inability
to stop sucking your dick
kissed you even then
knowing that pretty mouth
is a death trap
at the end of each day
i drink the venom of your mothers mothers
apothecaries of the dead
and you waterboard me with your words
i was drunk on the illusion of love
an idea i pieced together
in the privacy of my desperation
dehydration makes even toxic waste
look like water
i remember used condoms by the bedside
left by the tooth fairy
who came
to collect teeth knocked from my mouth
you fucked her too
i remember
the smell of other ass
trapped in your crossroad
of your mustache
where pubis and mandible were made one
that was the only time your mouth
told the truth
you made my face unholy
I bleached my mouth
to supplement the inadequacy of toothbrush
that left me still smelling like
something inside had died
i bought needles and thread
and watched you while you slept
i left my body, free-floating,
and saw myself sewing shut
the venus flytrap of your face
i collected your eyes
in velvet satchels in my pocket
to carry like energy stones
that heal and balance my body
while keeping the evil away
with my mouth closed
i dreamed of crushing your hips to fragments
and smudging your jaws with blood
so the next nigga you kiss and grind
could gag on the aftertaste of my self-respect
rotting between your perfect teeth
i remember wanting so badly
to kiss your soul outside the deception of your body
like a romance of french corpses
i remember your body as a terrorist
that filled me with fear
and blew up buildings inside me
each time you came
i remember bright red embers
like little stop lights
at the disappearing end of fags
you said they didn’t taste the same
without the smell of my flesh
mixed in the smoke
i remember you so well
i have no space to collect other events
and cannot imagine the luxury of new lips
not even the ones i am staring at
in the supermarket
you beat the drum of my ear
until sound is distorted
like my body
in this room full of carnival mirrors
i sleep
and dance
to the music of my burning flesh
words like i love you
sound like fuck you in the fire
forever, like never
your tongue touches me in the worst places
where i have forgotten the power of pleasure
you love me like the moon
you are like darkness in the daytime
i use my mouth to make wishes at wells
drop nine pennies for each of the lives you took
and ask the universe to make you into a mouth
filled with penitence that cannot be uttered
for grace that will never be given
wish you were a dragon
whose fire can only implode
so my skin might be safe from searing
while you melt into a putrid mound of inexistence
wish you a new kind of cancer
that eats you from the inside out
and makes your mouth less appealing
we have never kissed
and i am already tasting my tears
your mouth covers mine in the worst ways
whispering words of love
while keeping me from breathing
what. kind. of CPR. is. this?
we have never kissed
but you are already looking at my body
curling your lips into a smile
and singing curses as i greet the dead
and dance to zydeco tunes
from three feet away i smell your breath
and just before i am unfrozen
you say, “hello…”
and in return i say
“i will fucking kill you…
this time. “
so we keep walking
and bite our lips until they bleed.”